Sunday, November 18

le minions.

before i get all serious and talking about david icke and rothschild zionism conspiracy and everything, better i let all the stress steamed away by watching this cute adorkable (yes a cross between adorable and dorky at the same time ehehe) and superbly catchy at the same time like OMG.

catch myself singing to this in da shower and, i am addicted.
in the end of shower i was like --

epic fail there.

Thursday, November 15

one word -- blessed.

i am, indeed.


Tuesday, November 6

i should be happy.
i lost another memory of you.

your boxer and t-shirt is safe.

i've forgotten how to miss you.
i feel like i don't even know you, at some point. 
it seems like i don't even know myself.

i suppose that is a good thing.
it means that i really did let go, 
of things that has been holding me down.

i should be happy. 

cancelled the plan.
even if my dad weren't around,
I'd still cancel the plan.

i don't get it.
everyone seems to be fragile these days.


was it just me?

deactivate the facebook drama.
keeping the silence in twitter -- 
attracts more slender and accusation of being desperate and everything.

what was i thinking ?
i was ...

forget it, 
because even if i tell you, 
you wouldn't get it.

because you weren't there for me.

i wasn't that interesting to begin with.

at our best.

"now every time I see you I pretend I'm fine
 when I want to reach out to you 
 but I turn and walk and let it ride
 baby I must confess
 we were bigger than anything 
 remember us at our best
 and don't forget about ... "


need to stop.
shouldn't do this to myself. 


Monday, November 5


been blue. been very blue. went and take a look at the old picture of me, of them, of us. 
throughout high school, first hang out, first semester, first date, till this very moment.
the memories are endless.

for the people that now i know now is fake, rest in peace. 
i have no grudge. 
perhaps, too tired even to hold one.

will be the night.

is where i will let everything go.


by us i mean old friends, 
the one who let go of me first, 
and i only learn to let go of them as well, 
so we both wont be equally hurt and lost.


i've been giddy for such a long time. 
i've been out and be normal for a period of time.

it's time..
to go back to the moon.

and hopefully there, i can be lost. 
simply because i don't want to be found.

sense of trust, is all what i need now.
and perhaps, i deserved none.